Welcome to your 20s, the era to get completely f*cked.
I had a vision of myself from the age of 16. It was me in a happy relationship where my man basically worships me and gets me everything I want. Think of like every Wattpad guy you have read about, yeah, all of them combined; that’s my man. And I’m this very successful photographer who is so busy and accomplished and successful! That was the dream, I had my own place, own space. I thought me in my 20s, she is THE ‘IT girl’.
I was seriously deluded.
I am now 24, completely confused about everything happening in my life right now. I thought I wanted to be this big-time photographer who’s always doing something, on the go. But I got a severe reality check when I graduated from university: it ain’t that easy to follow your dreams, and no one wants to hire someone who studied photography. I thought I was following my passions when I picked photography to study in uni, turns out I was really stupid. Why didn’t I pick something a normal brown girl would pick to actually guarantee some sort of validation from my family?? Like a doctor or a lawyer… no, no, no, I wanted to be different; I wanted to be ICONIC. Turns out being iconic costs A LOT, like your dignity.
I’ve been working in my dad’s shop for the past 2 years, getting small-time photography jobs from here and there that feed into my fantasy of one day leaving and starting my own thing, but wow… that’s all I can say really. I am always eternally grateful for the opportunities that come my way, but I am so sick of being here, I’m just sort of stuck in a limbo, fed up of just repeating the same thing day in and day out. I want to leave so bad, but I need something to fall back on, and the right opportunity hasn’t come yet. Something that would be a yes, a hundred times yes type of thing.
I am only 4 years into my 20s, and I want to get out. But the only way out is through the tunnel and finding ‘the light’ (as they call it). So I’m taking my 20s as character-building years, although at this point I am really questioning how much more character-building I really need if it has come down to writing down my feelings on my website?
